


The Bold And The Broken

by beekudo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, Vanity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beekudo/pseuds/beekudo
Summary: Vanity Teen AUCharity and Vanessa have formed an unlikely friendship over the past two years and as they near their final months at college, they'll find themselves needing each other more than they ever thought they would.
Relationships: Charity Dingle & Chas Dingle, Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 17
Kudos: 131





	1. I Don't Really Want To Party

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in a veeery long time, also first fic in this fandom so be gentle. The first of hopefully quite a few chapters, enjoy :)

The sound of the thumping bass line echoes through the house as she wanders down a set of stairs strewn with drunken students. She has to tread carefully in the gaps between bodies, sickly smelling ‘lads’ and tequila filled girls round every corner. The god-awful red and blue strobe lights illuminating the ground floor from some crap machine in the corner of the kitchen. She narrowly avoids a frantic girl running into the bathroom, the noise of her wretches thankfully growing distant as she walks towards the living room. 

She’s always invited to these stupid house parties and never seems to enjoy them as much as she used to, although people are usually so filled with alcohol that they most likely don’t even remember the ‘fun’ they’ve had. 

“Charity!!” 

She hears a voice from the other side of the room. Chas is stood leaning quite obviously away from a boy, plastered and breathing horrendous pick-up lines into her ear. Her eyebrows raise and Charity gets the hint. 

“Okay lover-boy, maybe it’s time you start heading home and take your frankly disgusting breath with you.” she moves her hand to his elbow and directs him quickly towards the exit.

The poor lad doesn’t seem to realise what’s happening and before he can mumble out a protest, he’s faced with the other side of the door. She turns back to Chas, nodding her head towards the outdoors and they move to leave.

“Thank Christ for that, I honestly thought he might collapse and take me with him. I think he was trying to tell me he’s been scouted by Man U... but turned them down for more money. Can’t imagine how he would leg it across a pitch, he was running out a breath just talking.” Chas rolls her eyes and follows Charity as she walks through the patio doors into the cool air. 

There are small crowds of people smoking various things in the alleyway next to the house and they both wrinkle their noses as they push their way through. They hop the gate once they reach the front and start strolling back towards the farm house. 

“How you manage to convince me to come to these things I’ll never know Chas. I had four beers, two tequila shots and whatever was in that cocktail they’d made, I’m not sure it even touched me.” Charity snorts and walks in a perfectly straight line ahead to demonstrate her sobriety. 

“Might I add there was ZERO talent there tonight! Usually there’s at least one passable drunkard who could liven up my evening but all of them were either fawning over sweaty boys or had their eye make-up half way down their face!” 

Chas laughs, “Alright I’m sorry, it was a crap idea, we should have just stayed at the Woolpack. I just thought we’d at least get some dancing in but you left me to face the idiots by myself while you were hiding in the bloody loo!”

“Honestly the loo was more bearable than that lot, even if it did smell of vomit.” Charity deadpans as Chas shoves her in the shoulder and they chuckle lightly.

They approach the farm house, trying to open the front door quietly and creeping up the stairs so as not to wake the Dingle clan. They make it to the top step before a pain soars through Charity’s foot and her face twists.

“Fucking _hell_ ,” she whisper screams, Chas looks at her with her hand covering her cackling laugh, “stupid _SHITTING_ step!”

Grabbing her throbbing toe and hopping into her room, Charity makes it to her bed before sitting down with a huff and pulling off her (stupid) open-toe heels. She lays back for a minute and contemplates sleeping in her outfit so she doesn’t have to move, but Chas wanders in and holds her hand out with a pack of make-up wipes. 

“Take it off, otherwise you’ll wake up looking even more like a racoon and I’m not waiting for you if you make us late in the morning.”

She reluctantly grabs the packet and barely registers the motions as she drags the wipe against her skin. She is exhausted, her feet hurt and the lack of sleep she’s about to get is not going to make tomorrow very easy. 

She rolls the foundation-covered wipe into a ball and throws it into her bin, proceeding to peel off her skinny jeans before pulling her duvet well above her head. 

Chas peers around her door and chuckles at the sight, turning off the lights and closing the door, “Night, idiot.”

\--------------------------

“Vanessa?”

“Here, sir.”

Vanessa doesn’t look up as she answers the register, she’s too busy scribbling on her Biology notes and trying to ignore the waves of panic as she realises what she needs to remember by next week for exams.

He continues to shout out names at an unnecessary volume while she recites DNA vocabulary in her head. _Adenine, Thymine, Guanine_ -

“Ugh.” A body slams down onto the stool next to her and a mass of blonde hair hides the groan as a head is promptly laid on the cool desk.

“Miss Dingle, nice of you to join us! We were starting to worry we may not be _graced_ with your presence this morning!”

Charity doesn’t even bother to lift her head, “I wouldn’t do that to you Mr Stapes, how would you cope?!”

Vanessa smirks slightly as the conversation wafts around her. She can feel eyes on her but is determined to carry on with her double helix diagram. Charity has tilted her head to her left and peeks at Vanessa through the gaps in her unruly locks. 

“You’re gonna get wrinkles frowning like that all the time, sunshine.” Charity’s voice is lower now, words only intended to catch the attention of the worried girl next to her.

“You’re going to age far before me if that’s the case.” Vanessa places her pen down and slowly moves her eyes to meet the blonde’s. 

“Ooh, I felt that one. Harsh V.” Charity grins before burying her head back into her folded arms and avoiding the bright light coming in through the windows. 

As Mr Stapes begins to pass around their practice papers, mumbled words come from the tired voice. “What time did you leave the mess last night then?”

“What mess?” There’s confusion in Vanessa’s tone as her eyebrows knit together. Oddly enough, it doesn’t surprise her that the blonde’s words make no sense this morning.

“The party at Victoria’s? Terrible music, sticky floors, leery lads? Ringing any bells?” Charity lifts her head to rest in her hands, looking up at the bewildered face. 

“Oh the house party? Charity, do you honestly think I’m invited to those? I live in blissful ignorance of what happens at parties like that.” She chuckles lightly and tilts her head to meet amused eyes. 

“Sorry, they’re so crowded you forget who you see and who you don’t. You’re not missing much, trust me.”

A twinge of sadness flicks across Vanessa’s eyes but is gone as quickly as it came. She isn’t exactly ‘in’ with the party crowd, she has dinner with her parents every night and spends most of her school day panicking about her grades. Charity Dingle never seems to worry about her grades, actually, she never seems to worry about anything and Vanessa admires her for that. 

Charity gives her an awkward smile as she notices the brief hurt look. She tends to forget that there are cliques in this hellhole. To be completely honest, Charity has only ever stuck with her various family members as her friends, she doesn’t trust other people to not screw her over. But the Dingles are accepted amongst most, seen as chaotic and too threatening to leave out of anything.

The biggest trouble-maker in the family tends to steer clear of most other humans, she only gets on with Vanessa Woofield, nerd extraordinaire, after they were lumped next to each other in class two years ago. After a month of Charity flicking various items of stationary at Vanessa for fun, the tightly-wound swot started to give as good as she got, somehow becoming comfortable with their routine of annoying each other.

For the remainder of the lesson, Charity keeps her head on the desk and eyes focused in on the other girl’s jumper sleeve, picking at the bobbles that had formed on the wool. Vanessa didn’t seem to mind, she did the task that had been set and after reaching for different highlighters, would always return her arm to Charity’s reach so she could carry on pulling.

The past year had brought them a sort of silent friendship and they both enjoyed it more than they would like to admit. 

"The bell’s gone Charity.” She is nudged out of her stupor as Vanessa looks down with a slight smile, having already packed her bag to move to her next class. The blonde hadn’t even noticed, she had been busy thinking of last night’s events, realising it had been a good few months since she had gotten busy with a drunken classmate in a dark room. Realising she didn’t actually miss the fun it used to bring her. She’s always been one to make the fun with girls wherever she goes, why does that idea bore her slightly now?

“Oi, move you lazy sod, you’re gonna be late for your next class where I believe you’ve got another appointment to sleep.” Vanessa’s mouth slips into a smirk but her eyes are smiling. Charity feels herself returning the look as she clambers off her stool and grabs her bag.

Oh. 

Maybe _that’s_ why. 

Bollocks.

  
  



	2. It's All New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two oblivious, soft teenagers. Vanessa helps Charity amidst her exam panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter up! I always end up writing longer and slightly better chapters the more I write so HOPEFULLY I'll be able to keep it up. Enjoy!

The hallways in their college had always smelt like linoleum and faint BO so Vanessa usually doused herself in her perfume to try and distract her own nose from the stench. The sounds of rubber soles squeaking on the floor and cries of laughter echo past each classroom door and she just manages to dodge a backpack as it comes hurtling towards her. A crowd of boys turn the corner and run past her, kicking the bag on their way as a smaller boy trails after them, seemingly the owner.

She’s never understood boys and their innate need to show off both under and out of the watchful eyes of their teachers. A cloud of Lynx always seems to follow them around and she holds her breath to avoid choking on it. She’s passing what seems to be an empty Psychology classroom when she hears a muffled shout. She backtracks and looks through the small rectangular window in the door, her eyes glancing around until she spots a familiar face in the back row. Sat on her own, one foot hunched under the other and launching a pen across the room, is Charity Dingle. 

Seeing her on her own isn’t unusual but the fact she’s voluntarily spending time in a classroom puzzles Vanessa as she places a hand on the door handle. She pauses for a second, wondering whether or not it’s crossing a boundary to bother Charity. They get on when they’re together but they never spend time with each other outside of the school gates, what if she’s upset about something? What if she doesn’t want to see anyone? What if she’s been sent here for bad behaviour? All possible, all would mean Vanessa shouldn’t interfere. But the look on Charity’s face as she crumples a piece of paper and holds her head in her hands pushes Vanessa forward without another thought.

The sound of the door clicking shut behind her causes Charity to lift her gaze to the intruder. She was not expecting what she finds. A very concerned Woodfield who doesn’t seem to want to move her feet from their spot on the disgusting grey tiles underneath. Charity feels a catch in her throat and before she can say anything, she sees the other girl’s mouth open slightly.

“Um,” Vanessa gently moves her hair out of her eyes as she ponders what to say, “I can go if you want, it’s just I heard a noise..” she’s mumbling now and beginning to regret her decision as she watches Charity’s expression go from surprise to a deep-set frown. “I’ll get out of your way, you look busy, are you okay? No, never mind, not my business, ignore me...”

“I’m failing.” Charity lets out with a defeated sigh. Her hands are covered in blue ink and Vanessa spots large pools of the liquid over the desk and notebooks laid out in front of the blonde. 

“I’m failing and my fucking pen exploded.” she lifts her hands to show Vanessa and almost lets out a laugh at how daft she must look. “Maybe I should take it as a sign that my age-old tradition of blagging it will have to do for next week’s exams. Revision doesn’t seem to be working for me.” She pushes her curls behind her ear, leaving a dark blue patch on a curl that Vanessa doesn’t want to point out.

“Why are you worried about failing? You never worry? Charity ‘gives no fucks’ Dingle, right?” Vanessa goes to smile but notices the green eyes staring back at her seem to dim slightly. Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say.

“Yep, that’s me, zero fucks. None at all. So why am I bothering? Might as well keep up my polished image, right?” Her tone is sarcastic and slightly harsh, Vanessa feels like, yes, she most definitely said the wrong thing. Shocker.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just, I thought your results didn’t matter, you’ve got a job lined up at the pub in the village don’t you? You don’t need perfect A grades for that.” Vanessa tries to catch Charity’s eye while she’s wiping at the ink stains with her sleeve.

“Maybe I don’t want to be stuck at the pub my whole life V! Maybe I’ve been trying to get some of this fucking drivel into my brain so I’m not stuck with that  _one_ choice. Maybe my entire family is happy staying in one place and never moving but I’m not living like that.” Charity spits out, taking a deep breath, she glances up at Vanessa. The poor girl looks taken aback and Charity’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry, I’m just… I’m stressed and I’m fucking fed-up and I’m not very good with honesty.”

Vanessa doesn’t know what to do. Small talk, jokes, little jabs at each other, that’s what she is used to. She’s never seen Charity defeated by anything, except maybe a painfully early morning PE class with the Trunchball-style netball coach. Charity is picking at her nails and doesn’t move to say another word. Vanessa contemplates sitting down, maybe she could use some company, but she also might need anything  _but_ company right now. She always seems to deal with things in her own way, Vanessa’s even seen Chas and Sam avoid Charity when she’s in a mood. She hitches her bag up as it threatens to slide down her shoulder.

“Look, maybe I should,” she starts, moving one foot as if to turn back towards the door.

“Will you help me?” Her voice is barely above a whisper, her gaze fixated on her stained sleeve. Charity sounds as though she is afraid of her own question, a fact that doesn’t seem to compute in Vanessa’s mind. Charity Dingle, afraid, nope, she can’t see it. But as the blonde raises her head, something between hope and fear is clear as day in her watery eyes. Vanessa feels her chest tighten and resists the urge to say something that might sound like pity. Instead, she puts her bag down and drags a chair out from its place next to Charity. The blonde watches carefully as Vanessa sits and leans down to get something out of her front pocket.

Rifling through, placing a calculator, two rubbers and some post-its on the table, Vanessa eventually turns towards her and holds out the objects in her hand with a small smile. Charity glances down and notices a new pen and some hand sanitiser are being offered. “We can’t work with your hands like that, you’ll never understand your notes if they’re covered in stains.” Her smile doesn’t falter, timid but genuine and Charity can’t help her look of complete confusion turning to a smile at the corner of her lips.

\--------------------------

The shriek of the bell interrupts their conversation signalling the end of the school day. They’ve been going over this term’s Biology syllabus for the past hour and had successfully managed to zone out the world around them. Vanessa had taken Charity through most of her own notes, explaining relevant terms and helping her memorise the right labels for the right diagrams. Charity had listened, quietly asking questions when she felt brave enough and Vanessa had been more patient than anyone had ever been with her. The noise had snapped them back to reality and they look at each other, unsure of what to do next. 

“Did that help? I know it wasn’t long and we haven’t covered all the topics but we’ve got a lot of the important stuff down, you’re remembering all the vocabulary, even the stupidly long words that sound like some ancient language,” Vanessa is still babbling on as Charity starts to put her things away and a smirk creeps onto her face. “I’ve mostly finished my Biology revision but I know we have History too and maybe I could send you some of my notes if you’re nervous about that. They’re not as detailed but they’re doing the job and...” she trails off, noticing that Charity is ready to leave but is sat still, watching the words tumble out with an amused look in her eyes.

“Sorry, blabbering on, you don’t have to look at my notes if you don’t want to.” Vanessa feels redness growing from her neck to her cheeks and she busies herself putting her belongings in her bag with clumsy hands. She turns back for her phone only to find it in the hands of the girl sat next to her. She goes to protest but the phone is returned to her palm before anything else can leave her mouth.

“I’ve put my phone number in, ok? If you have any time, or a free evening or something…would you want to do this again? I know we don’t really talk outside of this place but this has helped… a lot, V.” Charity waits and watches as those blue eyes relax and a bright smile shines back at her. Her stomach does what feels like a tiny flip,  _she must be hungry…obviously…that’s it, or wind…no, gross, never mind._

“Sure. I’d like to. Just text me if you’re around and we’ll get together, to revise…you know…not hang out, unless you want to...” Vanessa breathes out a laugh as she tries to put a sock in it, maybe if she opens her mouth wider she can shove the other foot in. She’s suddenly a  _mess_ , in front of the coolest person to ever pay her any attention. Someone she’s bantered with for over a year now, someone who has seen her fall off a stool and laughed until she couldn’t breathe, someone who seems to let her guard down slightly when she’s around. She decides to avoid the inevitable and shut up before her mouth runs away. 

“V, chill, that would be nice. I won’t subject you to my shit-show of a house but the pub has comfy seats and I always have a booth reserved.” 

“Or mine?” Vanessa offers and she watches Charity’s eyebrows raise. The blonde decides to test the water.

“Why, Miss Woodfield, what are you proposing, an introduction to the parents?” she winks and feels a soar of pride as Vanessa’s eyes shine and her cheeks bloom red again. 

“No, but I make a good brew if you’re lucky enough.” 

“Deal.” Charity smiles and watches as Vanessa shifts in her seat. She turns back before Charity can move and quickly raises her hand to Charity’s hair, pulling slightly on one of her curls. The blonde’s heart beat is suddenly in her ears.

“Ink,” is all Vanessa manages to breathe out before placing the hair back behind Charity’s ears. They are still for a minute before a noise in the hall breaks their silence. They smile gently at one another and move towards the door, fumbling slightly as to who goes through first but once they’re out in the hallway they both offer awkward waves and turn in opposite directions. Charity chances a look back at her retreating study buddy, light smile not leaving her face as she realises they’ve crossed a boundary now.

No going back.

Good.

\--------------------------

‘ _Help, I’ve got to the page on the Blitzkrieg and Reichstag and I barely understand English so it looks like fucking hieroglyphics to me.’_

Vanessa’s phone lights up next to her. She takes one earphone out to focus and notices the message displayed on her screen under the name ‘Charity’ – which she notices has a wink emoji next to it, of  _course_ it does.

Her chest feels warm reading the text and she pauses after swiping to unlock the phone. Warm? Charity is annoying, permanently pissed off and usually gives her feelings of exhaustion or at most, laughter. But warmth? She shakes it off and her mouth turns up as she replies.

_‘Your English skills are fine, not a patch on your dramatics though, I must admit. I’ve not finished my notes on that yet but we can do them together if you want?’_

She hasn’t even put the phone back down before it vibrates with a response in her hand.

_‘Life. Saver. Or guardian angel? Fits better. Yours or pub? It’ll take me 5 minutes to get to either.’_

Vanessa feels the warmth creep back into her body as she takes in what seems to be a compliment. She texts back to let Charity know that she’ll put the kettle on if she’s happy to study here. She has all her things out already and taking a look out of the window she sees drizzle falling from the clouds, her warm room and fluffy pig slippers are confirming she should stay inside.

‘ _Bring a brolly. It’s pouring._ ’ She finishes and sends through her message. She is suddenly very aware of her Ravenclaw jumper and tatty joggers but knows it’s unlikely she’s going to find something just as warm that is any more sophisticated. She pulls her hair out of its ponytail and runs downstairs to boil the kettle. She dumps a teabag in her favourite mug for Charity and begins to feel nervous as she stirs. They’ve never seen each other outside of school  _purposefully_ before, the odd chance meeting in the supermarket or a fleeting glance in the village maybe but they’ve definitely never been to each other’s houses. She’s getting the milk out of the fridge as she hears a soft knock on the front door. Placing it down on the counter, she wipes her hands hastily of any condensation and approaches the source of the sound. She opens the door and finds a damp looking Dingle in front of her.

“Did I not tell you to bring a brolly? Daft mare.” She laughs quietly, “Come in, you must be freezing.”

Charity wants to quip back with a sarcastic remark about her current state but she can’t seem to get past the fact that a very soft looking Vanessa is in one of the sappiest get-ups she’s ever laid eyes on. And she’s adorable. She doesn’t miss the fact that Vanessa is wearing pigs on her feet and shucks her own shoes off at the door. 

“It looked a lot lighter than it was, alright! Wasn’t expecting a torrential downpour when I left. Nice slippers by the way, I thought I was the one living on a farm?” She passes her coat to Vanessa’s outstretched hands and watches as she leans to hang it up in the porch. Vanessa’s jumper rides up slightly to expose the expanse of flat stomach above the hem of her joggers. Twisting to get it on the hook, Charity zones in on the twitch of muscle in her friend’s side and feels her throat close ever so slightly.  _It’s just her stomach you fucking plank, get a grip_ .

“I’m mid-brew making so you arrived just in time. Do you want sugar?” She follows Vanessa’s voice through to the kitchen, all marble-effect countertops and a soft green colour-palette. She realises house is like a Narnia and her eyes follow the kitchen down to the extension on the back, a room full of shelving holding books upon books. Her gaze lands on Vanessa, padding around the kitchen.

“Asking me for some sugar? I knew your motive to get me here wasn’t just studying Woodfield.” She feels some redemption with that remark, after feeling like a prize idiot for gaping at Vanessa in the porch. The other girl turns to her with an unimpressed look on her face but her mouth twitching into a traitorous smile. 

“In your  _tea_ , flirt.” Charity leans against the counter next to her friend as she puts everything back in its place and hands her a hot mug, smiling back appreciatively, the blonde takes a sip and almost scalds herself in the process. “I’ve only just bloody poured that you idiot, be careful!” Vanessa hands her a tea towel as she sputters and swears. “Come on, I know just how to distract you from the pain,” she pauses and Charity forgets the burn for a second as her heartbeat returns to her ears, “World War 2 revision, here we come.”

Vanessa puts on a face of false excitement before winking and motions for Charity to follow her up the stairs. Charity breathes a sigh of relief, or maybe disappointment, as she remembers why she came in the first place. Making it to the door of Vanessa’s bedroom without stubbing her toe or burning herself feels like an accomplishment and as she steps inside, she’s met with a blanket. 

“You look cold still and your hair is wet, I can’t find my hairdryer so this will have to do for now.” Charity smiles and takes the blanket from her hands, placing her mug on the desk next to them while she wraps it around herself. She knows that this is a severe blow to her cool and unbothered image but it warms her immediately and as Vanessa turns around to gather her papers up, Charity briefly closes her eyes at the distinct Vanessa smell in its fibres.  _Oh wow yeah, real subtle you pratt, ask to see her underwear drawer while you’re at it._

“Make yourself at home, the most peace we’ll get in this house is in here, without my little sister screaming the house down to Little Mix.” Vanessa throws two cushions down on the floor and drags her folder into her lap to start looking for the right section. “For such an organised system, I still take forever to find what I need…” her voice drifts around Charity as she looks around Vanessa’s room. She takes a photo off the shelf and feels her smile grow at the sight of a much smaller version of the girl sitting down, a big dog wrapped around her as she lovingly crushes him with a hug. 

“I can’t tell if the dog wants to be there or if he’s been forced?” She laughs, tilting the image down so Vanessa can answer her question. 

“Excuse you! That gorgeous boy was my best friend when I was little. We used to sit in here and read while my sister threw some sort of tantrum downstairs. Now it’s my brother throwing the tantrums and Tracy just plays loud music at all hours.”

“You’ve got a brother too?” Charity makes her way through the polaroids hanging from string on Vanessa’s wall. There is one of the three of them, Tracy looking annoyed while Vanessa holds a smiling little boy in her lap. “He’s sweet.”

“He’s my favourite, makes a good study partner when you’re not around, y’know? Makes far less chit chat.” She winks at Charity and the blonde laughs, a slight chest flutter appearing that she quickly shoves back down. “His name’s Johnny, he’ll be back from nursery soon with my dad so you may see him.”

Charity sits down next to her and empties the contents of her bag onto the floor to find her own books. Vanessa shakes her head, “he makes less mess and all, what  _are_ you doing?”

“Can’t find a sodding thing in here, ever, it’s the only technique that works trust me. It’s like Aladdin’s cave with less excitement.” She grabs her book and looks for the right section as Vanessa waits patiently, sipping on her tea and flexing her warm toes in her slippers. “Got it! Shitzkrieg, let’s go.” Vanessa laughs at her and warms at the sight of this normally indifferent girl wrapped in her blanket, smiling like she’s actually enjoying herself. 

It takes them about two hours to get through the main events they’ll need for next week’s exam and Charity has managed to keep her complaining to a minimum, only stopping to make jokes every once in a while. They hear a slam of a door downstairs and Vanessa’s head shoots up to glance at her door. 

“You haven’t even taken your shoes off yet boy! Come back down here!” Charity hears a loud male voice shout up from downstairs and milliseconds later Vanessa’s door bursts open, a small child barrelling into her and knocking her to the ground. Charity manages to lift her mug out of harm’s way and watches with a smile as the boy clings to her friend’s neck. “NESS! NESS! NE- oh.” The little boy stops his yelling as he spots Charity out of the corner of his eye. Lowering his voice to a whisper he doesn’t take his eyes off the blonde. “Ness, who that?” 

Vanessa smiles at Charity and nuzzles her nose to tickle the boy’s ear, “that’s my friend Charity, you going to say hi?” Charity can’t tell what makes her heart beat louder, Vanessa’s open use of “my friend” or the tiny “hi” she gets from Johnny.

“Hi bud, you ok? Sorry I’ve stolen your sister for a bit.” She watches him for a while and when he doesn’t respond, she worries he’s too shy and about to hide behind his sister shield. Instead she sits stock still as he quietly moves over to her own lap, she’s stunned as he grabs one side of the blanket around her shoulders and looks up at her chin. “Chatty’s warm, Ness.”

Vanessa’s mind goes completely blank as she watches Charity move the blanket to share properly with her little brother. He sticks his thumb in his mouth and absentmindedly reaches up to play with a curl of her hair. Charity looks dumbfounded as she moves her eyes to meet blue ones staring straight back. She’s smiling and Vanessa’s voice is stuck somewhere in her throat, a light blooming in her chest at the sight of the two of them. Eventually she clears her throat and chuckles slightly, “Well it seems you’re popular everywhere you go Dingle.” The look at each other for a moment, breaking contact when they realise it’s gone eerily quiet and Johnny has closed his eyes. 

“Maybe we carry on and let him rest for a bit. I’ve got about an hour before I told Lisa I’d be back.” Vanessa simply nods and quietly picks up from the page they left, her sentences more stammered as she attempts to recover from the absolute assault on her emotions the two seem to have caused. 

\--------------------------

“I’m not around this weekend, family break, but did you want to get together again Monday?” Vanessa is swaying back and forth on her tip toes while Charity shrugs on her coat. They finished up a while ago but stayed sat on her floor, chatting quietly as Johnny slept on. Eventually lifting him to lay on Vanessa’s bed, Charity looked disappointed when she announced she had to go. 

“Monday is Chas’ birthday so we might be busy but I’ll text you.” She curses herself as she watches Vanessa’s eyebrows lower to a frown for a second. “Promise.” The girl looks up at her, smiling softly and nodding an okay. They linger for a second in the porch and as Charity pulls the door open to face the harsh weather outside, “maybe I should take that blanket with me,” she jokes before she’s quickly yanked into a short but fierce hug that catches her off guard. Vanessa lets her go and takes a step back.

“Be careful..” a fond stare passes between them before Charity nods and lifts her hand to wave, running out into the cold towards the farm house. Vanessa’s back hits the door as it shuts and she lifts her head to face the ceiling.

_Well, shit. Now she’s in trouble._


	3. Knuckle Duster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity helps Chas organise a party for her birthday and things get, intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Violence, mention of sexual abuse.

_ ‘If I murdered my sister, would you help me hide the body?’ _

Charity’s mobile buzzes on the arm of the sofa. She sees the name ‘V’ and she feels her lips curl up at the sides. The girl’s only been gone 24 hours and she’s already wishing they were back on that bedroom floor, knees bumping together while they talked about their post-school plans. 

_ ‘I don’t know whether to be touched or offended that you think I would be the best person to help you with that _ .’ She’s picturing Vanessa and Tracy cramped into one room at their grandmother’s. She knew Tracy could be the annoying sister at the best of times, but stuck together in a box room for 2 rainy days, Charity would be surprised if Tracy made it home unscathed. ‘ _ Regardless, I’m in’  _ she sends and she feels the rhythm in her chest pick up when the three little dots appear immediately.

_ ‘See, knew I could count on you. I wouldn’t trust just anyone with this y’know? Just luck that you also happen to be Dingle.’ _

Charity barks out a laugh but it sounds more like a whisper compared to the thudding in her chest. Vanessa trusts her,  _ yes _ , maybe with a hypothetical crime situation, but still…Not even Dingles trust a Dingle.

“What’re you laughing at? Are you watching that video of that bloke falling down the stairs again?” Chas appears from the kitchen and hops over the back of the sofa to join her cousin. “Or is it the dogs with googly eyes? Gets me  _ every  _ time.”

“Nah, it was just a text.” Charity slides her phone into her back pocket, she likes having this part of her life to herself, for now. You never get any privacy in this family, everyone knows your damn business. She tilts her head back to Chas. “Anyway, what are we doing for your fast approaching 18th then? Big boozer?  _ Refined _ family dinner?” she snorts.

“Actually, I was talking to Lisa, she’ll let us do something here, we just can’t have the whole bloody school. Crowd control! Unlike that mess last week.” Chas rolls her eyes and gets her contact list up on her screen. “We can make a list, but no stoners, I don’t want it smelling like BO for weeks in here.”

“Yet you’re probably inviting Paddy?” Charity raises one eyebrow and smirks back at the unimpressed face.

“Leave Paddy out of it, yea? He’s a laugh and I reckon the most danger we’ll be in with him is with his dance moves.” She makes a pained face and chuckles slightly. “I’ll invite some of his mates too, that Rhona bird, otherwise he’ll panic and stand on his tod the whole night.”

Charity’s ears perk up at the mention of Rhona’s name. “What about that other girl they hang out with? Can’t just leave two of them, it looks sad unless they’ve got a gang of them.” She tries to look nonchalant as Chas furrows her brow and adds the names to the list.

“Vanessa? The one you’ve sat next to in any class you could for the last two years? Can’t even remember her name!” She sighs and shakes her head “I swear, you’d lose your head if it weren’t screwed on.” Charity fakes a look of shock but mumbles a ‘ _ whatever _ ’ before realising what she’s doing.

She’s getting Vanessa to her house, the mad house. To a party, which aren’t Vanessa’s thing. Where there’ll be booze, also not her thing. And dancing…and boys...and her family… _ yes Vanessa, please come to my mess of a house with my pack of hyenas family to watch me get horrendously pissed due to nerves and probably attempt the Macarena without vomiting… IT’LL BE SO MUCH FUN. _

_ \-------------------------- _

“So you’re coming then? Please, Ness! Paddy will be drooling over Chas the whole time and I don’t fancy being lumbered with some drunk fuckboy who wants to whisper gross-smelling nothings into my ear!” Rhona had got the text from Paddy a few hours ago. She’d called Vanessa pretty much as soon as they’d got back to the village from her grandmother’s and was determined they were going as a trio. Truth be told, Vanessa needed far less persuading than Rhona realised, a chance to see the infamous Dingle abode and to see the infamous blonde residing there. The one she hadn’t seen for a few days and had therefore left her in a foul mood for most of the weekend. The one she’d been texting almost the whole time and, as a result, made her trip over her grandmother’s dog on a few occasions. 

She’s seeing a different side to Charity Dingle. She jokes with her still and makes  _ endless _ sarcastic comments. But she also makes an effort, she asks Vanessa how she is, she mentions Johnny and her family, she makes Vanessa feel worthy of her time. Well, she makes Vanessa feel a lot of things… _ oh for god’s sake snap out of it _ . She’s suave, trouble making Charity and Vanessa is pig slippers, pop music and science homework.

“Rhona, if we’re going -” she starts

“Which we are...” Rhona blurts in before Vanessa can question it further.

“If we’re going, you need to help me pick what I’m wearing. You know the kinds of people that’ll show up. I don’t think my big yellow jumper and sequined trainers are going to cut it.” She sighs out and hears a hum of agreement from her friend on the other line. 

“Okay, well how about we get ready at yours? I’ll bring all my stuff, we’ll sort out an outfit and makeup and Paddy can meet us to walk over? That work?” Vanessa opens her wardrobe and sifts through the brightly coloured options before her, nodding gently before realising she can’t be seen.

“Yeah, yeah that works. About 6? I’ll make sure Tracy stays out of our way otherwise your makeup will be ruined in five seconds.” She laughs and as they agree on timings, she starts to get a bubble of excitement move up into her stomach. She’s going to a party, at Charity’s house, where Charity will be, looking no doubt badass and cool, probably necking tequila shots easily and dancing.  _ Oh christ, dancing. Oh she’s so SCREWED. _

_ \-------------------------- _

It’s their lunch break and she still hasn’t seen her pocket-rocket friend. She was starting to feel a pang of worry in her chest, if Vanessa doesn’t come tonight, it’s going to be so much less tolerable. She was late this morning thanks to the idiot dog eating half her damn shoe. She’d fought for it for at least twenty minutes before giving up and wearing her boots, not to the liking of her teachers who seemed to bring it up in every lesson so far. Chas and Sam were fighting over a can of Sprite while she leaned back in her chair and pulled her phone out of her pocket. 

_ ‘Decided to stay away from Emmerdale a bit longer? And miss a Dingle party to top it off!’ _ she adds a wink emoji in the hopes she doesn’t sound obviously pathetic. She drums her fingers on the table and almost falls back on her chair as it swings when her phone vibrates with a reply.

‘ _ Miss a Dingle party? They’re a phenomenon, how could I possibly miss out? I’m here, I’m just stuck in a lab with Paddy. He wanted to revise so he has all the time in the world to panic about his outfit later. As if a different pair of trainers is gonna leave Chas head over heels.’ _

Charity laughs and glances up at her cousin, still arguing with Sam over why he needs to take the Tango and be a good friend so she can finish her lunch, with her Sprite, in peace. “Oi, sounds like your Paddy is getting well dressed up to see you later.” She winks and Chas’ cheeks go a bright shade of red. She puts her middle finger up to Charity and hides her ever growing blush behind the can in her hand.

_ ‘Oh right, just thought it was odd to not see that neat little ponytail bouncing through the halls this morning. Poor Paddy, though Chas isn’t much better, her bed is covered in possible outfits. I’m only reeling in my jokes cos it’s her birthday.’ _

_ ‘Hey! My hair is down today actually so shut up. I attempted to curl some of it this morning and only got halfway through, didn’t realise it would take an age. I don’t think the ponytail would go with the vibe for a party. At least Paddy doesn’t have to worry about his hair tonight.’  _ She’s added crying laughing emojis next to her message and Charity suddenly pictures Paddy Kirk with a ponytail. The bubbles in her drink go up her nose and she coughs as the image washes around her brain. She thinks she’s recovered when she starts to picture Vanessa and soft curls hanging around her face. _ Shit _ , she coughs again and wipes her front as the liquid soaks into her trousers.

It takes her a few minutes and some weird looks from the idiots sat next to her before she can compose herself. _‘No pain, no gain they say. And I bet it’ll be worth the time. Try not to outdo Chas though, she’ll want to be the best looking there. Paddy might lose even more hair with some of the revealing outfit choices she has. Let me know_ _when you’re on your way, I’ll get you a drink ready.’_

Charity smiles and begins to worry about her own evening attire when Vanessa simply texts back _ ‘I’ll do my best, but no promises.’ _

_ \-------------------------- _

“Okay well what about this?” Rhona is holding out a dress on a hanger that is far too long and has a pattern that could quite easily blind onlookers. She twists her mouth into a frown and just looks at Rhona with a face that has the garment placed back onto the rail in no time.

“Okayyy, well this? This could work? It’s not quite as colourful as your usual but we could make it happen.” The dress is significantly shorter than the previous and is a very dark red. It isn’t too low cut but it pulls in tight at the waist with a black band and billows out into a skirt that reaches her mid-thigh. The sleeves reach her elbows and are a pretty lace material.

“Rhona, that was part of my Little Red Riding Hood costume last year. For  _ Halloween _ . I can’t wear that to a house party!” She motions to the dress and the hooded cape that still remains on the hanger. Her friend takes the cape off the hanger and places the dress alone on the door of the wardrobe. She places a pair of Vanessa’s black heeled boots underneath and grabs a selection of jewellery. She stands back and tilts her head and watches as Vanessa’s mouth turns from a frown to a gentle smile.

“Okay  _ fine _ , it works. Give me your damn eyeliner before I change my mind! And can you  _ please _ help me with whatever the hell my hair is doing, I look like the mad bloody hatter on one side.” Rhona laughs and takes the curling wand from Vanessa’s hands before brushing out the mess she’s made of her hair.

One hour, a significant stench of hairspray and several attempts at a winged eye later and they’re heading down the stairs to answer the door to a nervous Paddy. He looks like he’s made quite the effort but also as though his nerves are going to burst out of him at any moment.

“Paddy, chill, take some deep breaths and then get a grip. We need to go.” Rhona pats him on the back and chuckles back at Vanessa who follows as they make their way to the farm house. The short walk feels even shorter as they approach the door to the house. They can hear a faint bass pound through the walls and the sounds of people cheering and laughing inside, Paddy looks as though he wants to turn around and Vanessa might join him, her nerves spiking through the roof. Before they can consider it, Rhona bangs on the front door, twenty seconds later it swinging open to reveal a slightly tipsy looking Chas. 

“HEY! Hi, come in, sorry it’s really loud so I barely heard the knock! You all scrub up pretty well, Padster, looking dapper!” She points at him and winks, her hand slightly wobbly as she turns it into a beckoning hand, urging them to step over the threshold into chaos.

Vanessa scans the room, she had text Charity as agreed once they left the house and hadn’t received a reply. She brushes her shaky hands down the front of her dress, getting rid of non-existent creases and moves a stray curl away from her face. She follows Rhona and Paddy through to the living room and they stand amongst groups of kids all dancing and drinking colourful concoctions. Chas shouts something about drinks above the noise of the music and points towards the kitchen, they all nod and as they turn towards the right direction, a mass of blonde hair stops her in her tracks. 

Standing in biker boots, the skinniest black jeans Vanessa’s ever seen and a low cut black bodysuit, holding a cup in either hand is a very  _ still  _ Charity Dingle. After gulping down the pressure that’s suddenly filled her chest, Vanessa notices that her friend isn’t moving either. She is staring at her from head to toe and once she reaches Vanessa’s eyes, her mouth opens as if she is going to smile or say something but nothing comes out. Vanessa chews her lip and decides to inch forward towards the blonde, she points to the cup in Charity’s other hand and manages to squeak out, “mine?” 

Charity’s eyes snap towards the drink and she thrusts it out in front of her, nodding vigorously. Vanessa takes it from her and her fingers tingle as they brush against her friend’s, Charity glancing back to her as she takes a sip. Vanessa pauses, “Thanks. You look great, I’ve never seen you glammed up before. Although I see you’ve stuck to the traditional Charity black.” 

Charity smiles and puts her head down to look at her feet for a second, suddenly bashful and embarrassed like a bloody toddler. She brings her eyes back to Vanessa’s and panics as she feels a thudding in her chest, which definitely isn’t the music anymore. Before she can stop herself, she blurts out a few words and feels her cheeks heat up at the look she gets back. “You look gorgeous.”

Her friend’s smile is shy as she mumbles a thank you. Charity decides to break the very thin ice that they’re skating on and calms herself slightly. “How was your weekend in paradise without me? Started to wish you were revising huh?” It seems to do the trick, Vanessa’s eyes glimmer with a laugh and she fumbles her way through various stories of Johnny and Tracy causing trouble while she had sat and read in her grandmother’s armchair. They talk for quite a while and mid-sentence, Charity realises that they are much closer in proximity than they had started out. She’s managed to make a few quips here and there but most of the time, she has listened while a lump the size of her fist has formed in her throat.

A bang at the door knocks them out of their conversation and Charity sighs as she apologetically passes her drink to Vanessa and excuses herself to answer the door. She glances around quickly and notices that the room is pretty full as it is, Chas only invited about 30 people and they’re swiftly approaching capacity. She pulls on the door hesitantly and is met by a brawl of boys from their year who most definitely were not invited. Without waiting for a welcome, they barge through and head towards the table of beer bottles and cocktails, immediately causing the volume in the room to increase tenfold. She slams the door closed, _ please, do come in, how nice to see you all, especially seeing as no one was expecting you… _

She pushes her way through the crowd of messily dancing teens and grabs Chas by the arm, yanking her out of the huddle she’s formed with Sam, Paddy and Rhona. She taps Rhona on the arm and points in Vanessa’s direction, “don’t leave her on her own yeah? I need a second with little Miss Echo Falls over here.” Rhona nods and turns to find her friend while Charity pulls Chas towards the stairs. 

“Chas, who the fuck are they?” she points at the crowd of lads who are yelling at someone to ‘ _ chug _ ’ and gradually adding more dubstep anthems to the carefully curated playlist. “I know we like a good time but those tossers? They could smash up most of Lisa’s stuff in minutes!”

Chas’ eyes go wide and she shoots her head back to the blonde, “Wasn’t me, swear down. Someone must have posted photos or something, I wouldn’t have asked them round here!” She burps as she finishes her sentence and Charity’s hands fly to her shoulders. 

“Chas, focus. I’m gonna get some bin bags and try some actual damage control here. You go and change the music and for Christ’s sake get people away from the cabinets full of breakable items.” Her cousin nods back at her, scurrying back to Paddy and pulling him towards the speakers. She runs into the kitchen and finds a roll of black bin liners under the sink. Clambering across the room she clears every surface of half-finished bottles, kicks out some of the drunken unwanted guests and proceeds to offer everyone a new drink to keep them out of the kitchen. Separating some tongue twisting teens on the staircase, she makes her way up, collecting cups and discarded shoes on her way. Halfway to the top, she almost takes a knee to the face and looks up sharply. Rhona is standing above her with a panicked look and Charity remembers Vanessa. She feels relief that they’ve come to save her from cleaning duty but suddenly goes cold when she notices Rhona is alone. 

“Charity! Hi! Have you seen Ness? I left her to pee cos I broke the seal and we’d had quite a few shots so I was desperate but now she’s not where I left her and I don’t know if…”

“Rhona! Focus! Where did you leave her? Was she okay?” Charity can’t hear the people around her anymore. She can’t hear the terrible drum and bass coming through the speakers, she can’t hear Chas and Paddy laughing at his dancing, she can’t hear the cheers of people playing drinking games. All she can hear is Rhona stammering something about the bottom of the stairs and they both scan the downstairs crowd. There’s no beautiful head of soft curls, no flash of red dress, no distinct laugh, nothing. 

“Chas! CHAS!” She yells and a confused set of eyes look up until they land on Charity and she smiles, waving in her direction. “No, Chas, listen! Take Paddy outside, can you see if Vanessa is out there?!” Paddy must hear and nods, taking Chas’ hand and heading towards the door. Charity quickly scours the downstairs on foot to see if Vanessa’s taken a drunken nap in a corner somewhere but her search turns up nothing. Chas and Paddy come back with hazy eyes and shaking heads. “She’s not out there, unless she’s gone home.” 

Charity turns to find Rhona swaying on her toes and holding a phone screen to her face, “I’ve texted her six times but she’s not reading them.” Charity starts to zone out and can feel a familiar dread in her stomach. What if she’s gone home? What if she didn’t want to be here? What if she didn’t get home safely? What if -

She stops. All thoughts slow in her mind as she hears what sounds like a muffled cry from above. She looks at Chas, “Upstairs.” Her feet are moving before she can process it and she almost tramples several plastered guests on her way. She opens the first door she comes to but her room is empty, light still on from getting ready and not a soul in sight. She moves over to the bathroom and swiftly closes the door again as she’s met with one girl holding back the hair of another, the stink of sick rife in the air. She hears the sound again and turns, Chas’ room. 

She opens the door with such a force that it bangs back against the wall, she sees red. Her eyes are met with the sight of Vanessa up against a wall, arms straight by her side as one is held down by an unfamiliar arm. She scans for the other disgusting arm and finds it on Vanessa’s neck, lifting her hair while a slimy, six foot pig is undoubtedly spilling vile words in her ear. She looks up to find bright blue looking her way, watery and scared. Charity is moving but she’s no longer in control of her body.

A hand around his neck and a punch to his stomach has his hands limp, falling away from the girl who had a tear running down her cheek. She can vaguely hear Rhona and Paddy behind her, asking Vanessa if she’s okay, but she can’t turn around yet. Hands on his shoulders, she rams a knee into his groin taking him down and then she’s on him. Fists flying into his nose and shouts erupting from her throat as she watches blood pour from his face. Before she can knock him out, hands are gripping her arms, pulling her up forcefully and dragging her away. She’s still screaming at him but she’s soon faced with Chas instead of his body on the floor.

“Charity! Charity look at me! He’s down okay, he can’t go anywhere, you need to stop or you’ll kill him.” She can’t focus her eyes properly, she’s seething and she can somewhat feel her hands shaking violently. She feels warm hands replace Chas’ clammy ones and looks down, thumbs are gently grazing over bloody knuckles and she winces as the pain sets in slightly. She follows the hands upwards and her gaze locks in on a small mark on Vanessa’s neck. She stiffens and her hands involuntarily squeeze as though preparing for a fight again. She stops as she feels a hand under her chin. Her eyes move and land on a fierce gaze, she’s not crying but there are pools formed in Vanessa’s eyes, she hears herself rasp out, “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

Vanessa places her palm over the mark on her neck but shakes her head, “No, he would have, I think, but no.” Charity feels herself sigh gently and then she is being pulled towards the now vacant bathroom. A sting ripples through her hands as they are met with warm water, gentle fingers rub soap across her knuckles and they only let go to reach for tissue paper. The door is pushed shut and she’s guided towards the bath to sit on its edge. Her vision is clearer now and she sweeps a gaze across Vanessa, not believing she isn’t hurt. 

“Hey,” the voice is small but it pangs in her chest. “I’m fine Charity. I’m absolutely fine. Shaken but you kind of took him to the floor before he could do anything. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have let Rhona go on her own and then I wouldn’t have been trapped by him…”

“It was  _ not _ your fault. Don’t say that. He put his hands where they weren’t wanted. He’s a fucking leech and if he hasn’t been dragged out of here yet then -“

“He’s gone, Chas got Cain and the others and they booted him out. Didn’t do nearly as much damage as you though.” She pauses, almost chuckling but instead taking a rough breath in. “Thank you.”

“He didn’t deserve to be anywhere near you, I’m just sorry we didn’t get to you before he could lay a hand on you.” Charity lets her head fall, slumping into the hand holding her chin. A thumb grazes her jawline and she leans her head against her friend’s. Vanessa stays for a second but pulls away slightly, moving a bloodied curl out of Charity’s face, “I think I should go home though, Charity. I’m okay, I was scared before but I’m okay.”

Charity nods and uses her less painful hand to slide into Vanessa’s. She helps her stand from her crouched position in front of the bath and smooths out her sleeves where they’ve ruffled up. She doesn’t say any more, she doesn’t need to. She opens the door and softly pulls on their joined hands to lead Vanessa out towards the stairs. “I’m taking her home,” she throws towards Chas and the others who are waiting outside and they nod understanding in their direction.

Charity grabs her coat from the hook behind the front door, pulls it around Vanessa’s shoulders and leads them outside. Once past the gate, they slow their walk to a stroll and she feels a squeeze, nudging her out of her head. She looks sideways and sees gentle orbs in her eye-line, her heartbeat slowing as she feels it pull in between her lungs. Vanessa starts as they pass the pub, “Maybe steering clear of parties should be a tradition for me.” She chuckles and Charity shakes her head. 

“No. You should be allowed to have fun without worrying. That never should have happened. They weren’t invited, they showed up because some twat let on about the party online.” She bites it out and tightens her grip slightly on their hands. “It was supposed to be fun, it  _ was _ until they barged their way through. At least Chas is probably too drunk to remember this tomorrow. Your tears, blood on her carpet, shouting… _ God,  _ I screamed, I’m so sorry, I just..”

“Charity,  _ stop _ .” They’ve come to a standstill outside Vanessa’s house. She pulls Charity to face her and reaches for her other hand. “No one has ever been that angry for me. It’s not something I want to see often in you, but I’ve never been so glad to see someone in my entire life.” She laughs lightly and dips her head before mumbling, “and it was a Dingle, of all people.”

Charity manages a smile and brushes a thumb under Vanessa’s eyes, trying to get rid of the black smudges of eyeliner. They stand for a while, not speaking or making a move to part but after a few minutes, Charity notices the eyes opposite her close slowly. She brings Vanessa close and wraps her arms around her shoulders. “Get some rest, I’ll come and get you in the morning, if you want to come into school.” She huffs, “I’d rather not go either to be honest but someone’s influence is rubbing off.”

Vanessa turns her head to lay flat on Charity’s shoulder and rubs a hand down her back. “I’ll be here, 8:15, don’t be late.” She squeezes once and pulls away just enough to lean up and place a kiss to Charity’s cheek. She lingers for a moment, making sure it’s understood and felt by the blonde. “Wrap your hands, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

Charity smiles softly at her and tucks Vanessa’s hair behind her ear before letting her go to her front door. She waits until the door is shut behind her and turns on her heel for home. Now for cleaning, probably more kicking people out and making sure Chas hasn’t passed out with her shoes on.  _ Joy _ .


	4. Frostbite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the party at the Dingle's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of protective fluff, I'm ill so the angsty tirades have been kept to a minimum.

She rolls slightly onto her side, face turning up towards the window where its panes have frosted over. The sky is blue but she knows as soon as she steps outside, her breath will be visible in the clear air. She’d much rather stay tucked up under her lumpy duvet, toes chilling where they poke out at the end of her bed. She hears someone clearing their throat and turns her head towards the door. Chas is leaning against her door frame, arms crossed and head resting against the wood, her expression is a slight frown but her eyes are almost sympathetic. 

“What _was_ that?” she puts the question out into the still room and watches as Charity sighs. She wasn’t expecting a day _without_ questions but she was hoping that she might get at least a few moments of peace before they started. “I’m not saying it wasn’t justified beating the shit out of him Charity, but I’ve not seen you lose yourself that much, even when those dicks were stealing Sam’s lunch.”

Charity inhales deeply and raises her tired body from its position to sit on the edge of her bed. Her scruffy t-shirt has pulled over to one shoulder but she can’t be bothered to adjust it, instead moving her hair out of her way and laying her face in her hands, taking a breath before lifting to look at her cousin.

“Chas, I don’t want to talk about it, not now, I’m tired yeah?” She only has half an hour before she’s due at Vanessa’s, she’s nervous but her desire to see her okay again pushes her body towards the bathroom. She brushes past Chas as she goes and stops at the bathroom door when the brunette speaks.

“It’s alright that you care about someone Charity.” She looks at the back of Charity’s head as she finishes, “If you were letting her in, if you still are, don’t suddenly shut her out. Or any of us.” She squeezes her cousin’s arm as she heads back to her room to get ready. Charity shuts the bathroom door quietly behind her and picks her shoulders up as she twists the dial in the shower.

\--------------------------

Vanessa is stood under the archway of the front door, tapping her toes in her leather shoes to try and warm them up slightly. Her scarf wrapped tightly around her neck is blowing lightly in the cool breeze as her nose burns red. She was somewhat glad it was cold enough to justify her biggest knitwear, the scarf was doing a good job of covering the small bruised mark on her neck. She slept well, despite the sound of those whispers in her ear echoing as she had tried to get comfortable. Eventually she had focused on the feeling of her forehead resting against Charity’s and she had dozed off fairly quickly, breathing starting to even out as her body relaxed.

She had thought about the blonde as she had gotten ready this morning. She wished she could go back to getting ready last night, relive it without those shots and that sweaty body on her. Relive it dancing with Charity instead, feeling the familiar catch in her throat every time their arms touched nowadays or when Charity looked at her like no one else was in the room. She hears the sound of shoes scuffing on concrete and as they grow nearer she glances up hesitantly. A soft smile on the face of the girl approaching, she watches familiar eyes meet hers and she is briefly taken back to their moment in the bathroom. “Morning sunshine,” Charity’s voice is much gentler than usual and as she nears, Vanessa notices her eyes are scanning, as though taking in the sight of the _safe_ , albeit cold girl before her. The smaller girl brings her hand out of a pocket to wave, stepping forward as though to walk in step with her friend as they head for school. Charity stops her before she can go any further. 

“Wait, V. Are you sure you want to go? I’ll stay here with you if you just want to be home for a bit.” Charity hasn’t moved any further forward, hands shoved into her coat and her green worried eyes flitting about. 

“No, no I want to go. I’m alright Charity. You’re coming with me, aren't you? What do I have to be worried about?” she smiles at the blonde and gets a small one in return. She steps ahead and moves in line with Charity while they start to stroll, neither of them wanting to hurry but neither saying a word. Vanessa pulls her hands out of her pockets for a second and rubs them together, mumbling something about it suddenly be freezing lately and how she’s lost her stupid gloves. As she rubs, she’s interrupted as Charity pauses to take both her hands and cup them between her own gloved pair. She blows hot air into her hands for a minute and quickly shoots a soft smile at Vanessa before linking their fingers and placing joined hands into her own pocket. Vanessa has to walk up against the blonde in order to keep them in their place but she doesn’t mind, she gets a faint smell of Charity’s perfume as strands of hair are blown past her own face.

They walk mostly in silence but occasional remarks about the state of Paddy and Chas and the upcoming exams leave each quiet moment comfortable. Vanessa feels a squeeze every now and again and each time, her heart thuds against her ribcage, a reminder that the broody blonde cares about her, probably more than she’d realised. Approaching the school they hear the year 7s screaming as they run into the buildings, they also notice Paddy and Chas sat on a bench near the entrance, oblivious to the world around them as they exchange shy words.

“We have Biology in ten, we should probably just head there, make sure we get our desk.” Vanessa squeezes their hands in Charity’s pocket to get her attention, earning a gentle gaze and a nod in agreement. Walking towards the science block, Vanessa hears a familiar voice and stops, her feet glued to the courtyard’s floor. She looks right and watches as he laughs and messes around with his mates at the doors to the main building. She shivers lightly and feels the hand around her own tighten, registering as Charity’s body starts to pull away as she walks in his direction. 

“Charity stop, let’s just go. It’s really not worth another drama.” she reaches back for the hand that left hers as it starts to chill again without the heat of the other. He looks up and you both notice a dark black mark surrounding his left eye and nose, he seems to pause and then turns to his friends, pointing at their joined hands and causing a laugh to ripple out amongst them. Charity sucks in a sharp breath and as she feels a thumb run along her palm, she turns back to the direction of their class, stopping briefly and swivelling on her feet before moving on. 

“Oi, dickhead! You weren’t laughing when I smashed your face in last night and you won’t be laughing if I have to do it again. No group to hold me back this time. Watch yourself, you fucking arsehole.” His mates jeer slightly and whistle, heading into the building behind them as he sticks a finger up, following them without a word.

They arrive early and slumping into her seat, Charity feels Vanessa watching her, eyes boring into her temples. “You won’t touch him. You can’t. He was drunk last night but he was also alone, you can’t take on the whole group.” She sits quietly down next to her friend and when she doesn’t get a reply, she takes her index finger and moves Charity’s chin to face her. “I mean it, Charity.”

The blonde sighs and focuses on the girl in front of her, she lifts the hand holding her in place and drops a soft kiss to it before letting it fall back into Vanessa’s lap. “I know, I won’t.” She grabs her things from her bag quickly and dumps them on the table, leaning forward and trying to alleviate the tightness in her chest she gets from Vanessa’s caring eyes. “We have an exam tomorrow, can’t cause chaos before it even starts. Now, get out those flashcards I know you spent hours on and do your worst.”

She leans against the arm of the chair and twists to face Vanessa, releasing a signature wink before smiling. Vanessa chuckles and reaches for her rucksack.

\--------------------------

Walking into the canteen, Charity is relieved to see Chas and Paddy sat together opposite Rhona at a round table. _Not the coolest crew she’s ever seen but better than nothing_ . She directs Vanessa towards the group and mindlessly pulls out a chair, waiting for the girl to sit in it before falling into the seat next to her with a loud sigh. Rhona’s raised eyebrow earns her a raised middle finger and she lifts her hands in defense, “I didn’t say anything! _Anything_ at all…”

Chas makes small talk with the rest before turning to Vanessa and quietly mentioning, “Are you alright after, y’know? I was pretty drunk, sorry I wasn’t more with it,” she looks down but Vanessa is quick to assure them all that she is fine and looks sideways to meet watchful dark eyes, “I had _you,_ didn’t I?” Charity nods at the question and turns her lips up slightly, Vanessa smiles and continues, “I was also very drunk so it was easier to put it all to the back of my mind, Paddy’s dance moves on the other hand…”

The group laugh and carry on making jokes, mostly at poor Paddy’s expense, for the remainder of their break and when the bell shrills above them, Charity realises that her classes with Vanessa are done for the day. She feels worry creep into her bones and quickly turns to the other girl as she begins to stand. She tugs on the corner of Vanessa’s jumper and leans in to quietly speak while the others gather their bags. “Can we revise tonight?” she watches as Vanessa nods and smiles brightly at her, a dopey smile reaching her own face in mere seconds. 

“Meet me at the front gate when the last bell goes, we can go to mine.” She tenses her fingers around Charity’s and lets go before heading off with Rhona to their next lesson.

\--------------------------

Kicking off her shoes, Charity lets her bag fall to the floor of the porch as she and Vanessa remove their dew-covered coats. She wordlessly follows Vanessa into the kitchen and watches as a tiny body comes running out of the extension to wrap itself around her friend’s legs. Johnny remains stuck to Vanessa’s legs for a while before popping his head around them to find Charity. He let’s go immediately, toddling up to the blonde and reaching his hands up, whining slightly. Charity doesn’t think before she places her hands under his arms and lifts him onto her hip. He leans his head on her shoulder and she rubs his back for a minute before looking to where Vanessa is stood with her dad. They’re watching with small smiles on their faces and Vanessa turns back to her dad, “Do you want tea? We’re gonna revise for a bit but a brew’s essential in this weather.”

“Course darling, nice to see you again Charity. Caught you on your way out last time, not sure you’d be braving the noise of Tug Gyhll again.” His face is kind, Charity can’t help but notice the similarity between Vanessa and her father. She’s glad he hasn’t seemed to notice the Dingle likeness and thrown her out before he even gets to know her. Most people tend to sense them coming. “Although, it seems as though you can calm the chaos that is my children, it’s only Tracy I haven’t seen you work your magic on yet,” he points towards the small hands curled into her jumper and soft snoring of his youngest child. 

“This one’s easy,” she smiles, “it’s the girls that are more work.” They both laugh as Vanessa pauses her stirring to glare at Charity, smirk forming on her lips. Handing a cup to her dad, Vanessa turns to watch Charity as she whispers to Johnny. “Sorry bud, you’re gonna have to cuddle your dad for a little bit, me and Ness have work to do.”

The sound of her nickname coming from Charity’s mouth catches Vanessa and she can’t help the no-doubt pathetic, goofy look she gives to the both of them. Johnny clambers down and pads over to his dad who takes his hand and leads him back to the sofa in the back room. Vanessa passes a mug to Charity, “You’re soft really, aren’t you?” she winks and a familiar tingle makes its way through to the blonde’s stomach.

Charity skates past her and slowly starts up to Vanessa’s room, “only with Woodfields.”

\--------------------------

It’s dark outside by the time they’ve finished testing each other on every Biology topic they can think of. Vanessa had squealed with pride when Charity got every flashcard right on one round, causing the blonde to blush and shove at her shoulder until she’d fallen back giggling. She had been given one of Vanessa’s giant, neon jumpers when she’d started to feel cold and even though it had started to make her overheat within about half an hour, she had left it on so she could press her nose to the collar occasionally and take in the smell of its owner. _I think at this point, you’re utterly screwed and kinda pathetic Dingle..._

Vanessa had eventually moved to lie on her front on her bed, flicking through her notes and occasionally throwing a question to where Charity sat on the floor, back leaning against the bed below her friend. “I think I might actually get some of these questions right on the exam tomorrow, y’know?” she lets out a small laugh and fakes a look of outright offense when a pen lid is thrown at her head.

“Of course you will, you idiot.” Vanessa’s eyebrows are tied together in a scowl as she berates the blonde. “You never give yourself any credit and it’s stupid and I’ve _had_ it frankly, tomorrow will go well, you will pass everything and we’ll be cheering at your graduation before long.”

Charity laughs harder this time, letting it form into a lopsided grin when she sees the determination on Vanessa’s face. “I love that you believe in me that much, you can’t guarantee it though V.” The girl above smiles softly and tilts her head down to lean on the crown of Charity’s head. 

“I know I can’t, doesn’t mean I can’t have faith. You’re _brilliant,_ you just don’t see what I see.” Charity’s breath gets stuck somewhere between her lungs and her throat and she blinks away what threatens to be a tear. “Believe me, life would have been so much more boring without you bothering me all the time the past two years.” Charity feels her giggle vibrate on her head and she grins. 

“You’re life would have been a lot less chaotic without me, especially in the past few days.” She chuckles but she still feels guilt chip away at her inside. She doesn’t focus her eyes until she notices that the body on the bed is now sat in front of her, so close that all she can smell when she inhales is Vanessa. All of a sudden, two shaky hands are on either side of her face and her gaze becomes clear when she hears a sigh. Staring fiercely back at her is that set of hazy blue eyes and when she recognises the touch of the hands holding her in place, the combination sets her heartbeat at an uneven, frantic pace.

“Will you _stop_ .” Vanessa doesn’t snap but her voice is firm, something not often heard from her mouth in the time Charity has known her. “I’ve had it up to _here_ with you blaming yourself for some sleaze bag ruining a party _you_ took the time to help organise. _Yes_ , I would have liked to drink that weird pink punch and dance with you the whole time but some people ruin it for the rest. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but his, like _you_ said yesterday, and I could have been a hell of a lot worse off without you there.”

Charity averts her gaze to trail along Vanessa’s arms instead, resting one of her own hands on one arm to keep the hands on her cheeks in place. “You could have been really hurt V and none of us would have known…” her voice is rough as she pictures the sight that met her in Chas’ room and a wandering tear makes its way down her cheek. Before she can quickly get rid of it, Vanessa’s thumb has done it for her. She mumbles, cheeks beginning to turn scarlett and her heartbeat returning to its favourite spot slamming away in her ears. “I only reminded Chas to invite you because I wanted to see you and I spent so long panicking about my fucking outfit, then just got blood all over it. Chas kept smacking me over the head because I was annoying her all weekend texting you instead of talking to her but I didn’t really care. Then I finally get to see you and I bring you to our little slice of hell to drink cheap booze and dance to the worst party playlist in all of human history…” Charity sucks a deep breath in and scoffs out an exasperated laugh. _Yeah, great, the word vomit is really helping your pity party over here…_

She hears a light giggle and looks up, Vanessa is still holding one cheek, a stray tear mimicking Charity’s and sliding down her face, leaving a streak in her foundation. “I text you first so technically that’s my fault. And, for the record, I loved your outfit. I may have a lot of blurry memories from last night but your legs are burned in there pretty bright.” She pauses and a smile passes her lips when Charity’s face grows even darker and her eyes go wide.

Charity moves her head to face the floor when she finds the words, “Maybe next time, we avoid teenage rebellion and just go to the cinema?” She holds her breath and waits for Vanessa to pick up on the cue, hoping the hand on her cheek doesn’t fall, rejecting any ideas of more time in each other’s space.

“You mean to tell me you want to hang out with me for reasons other than revision? And taking the piss out of my fashion sense?” Vanessa is baffled and manages a short chuckle but when Charity raises her head, she’s not smiling. Vanessa feels as though her her heart could spill out of her mouth onto the floor with the look in Charity’s eyes. It’s not smug, it’s not jokey, it’s not upset, it’s a look which begs Vanessa to get the damn message before she explodes.

“Oh, you mean...um...you want to go out, out?” Vanessa fumbles for a coherent sentence, hand slowly slipping from Charity’s cheek. “Like, you want to spend time with me...maybe…dunno as a sort of-”

Her last few words are breathed out as nothing when she notices that Charity is gradually getting closer to her, all thoughts becoming a mess of white noise. This time, Charity’s hands are the one reaching up to Vanessa’s cheeks and she nods slowly, “yeah, V…”. Charity’s left hand slides up to the base of Vanessa’s neck and forces her eyes to flutter shut as she feels gentle fingers brush the hair that lies there. A sharp inhale and then soft lips are over hers. Charity kisses her like she might break, gentle and slow. It’s only when she feels Vanessa’s own hands creep delicately around the back of her neck and her lean into it that she opens her mouth and captures Vanessa’s bottom lip between her own. A small hum comes from the back of Vanessa’s throat and Charity smiles against her mouth, kissing her once again softly before leaning forward so their foreheads are touching. 

Vanessa’s breath is shallow and after a few exhales she sputters a small laugh, reaching a hand up to brush a finger to Charity’s lips. “So I take it you were asking me on a date? Either that or I’ve completely misread the seemingly obvious sign…” her eyes are still watery but this time Charity can see nothing but a smile in them. She places a kiss to the finger that’s resting on her mouth and rubs her head into Vanessa’s hand like a puppy, causing her to chuckle and run her fingers into Charity’s head of curls. 

“Yes, V. If you can put up with me, I would like to go out into the world with you somewhere where I can maybe actually hold your hand without a pretense of keeping it warm.” she smiles with a spark of hope glimmering in her eyes. Vanessa leans in, leaves a kiss on her cheek and moves her mouth to Charity’s ear. 

“As long as we get these damn exams out of the way first, I’ll go anywhere you want.” Vanessa rolls back laughing as Charity jumps up onto the bed, grabbing the green Biology folder and holding a hand up to the girl she’s left on the floor, signalling she’s now suddenly busy studying.


	5. Certainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exams hit the girls as they attempt to figure out plans for a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been bed bound for a few days with a cold so here is a longer chapter to make up for it! The fluff continues my friends, enjoy x

Wednesday and Thursday feel like a whirlwind of frantically scanning revision notes, heading in and out of various exam rooms like herds of cattle and attempting not to pull hair out over the stress. The stress that this is the last chance they’ll have to redeem their school careers and figure out what the hell it is they’re doing with their lives.  _ No biggie. _

Charity had been mostly quiet on their walks to school, holding tight to Vanessa’s slender hand while Chas and Paddy test each other on equations they should have memorised weeks ago. She doesn’t question it, she can see the whirring cogs spinning in the blonde’s head and simply provides a hopefully reassuring squeeze every now and again, earning her a small smile but not much else. It seems to have hit everyone at once, the fact that they have just over a week left, one week that will fly by just like the rest have. But nobody seems ready to leave it behind yet, just a few more months and maybe they’d feel prepared. Maybe.

Their History paper is first, Wednesday morning. Vanessa wants to say something comforting to Charity and their friends, all seemingly silent with worry. She would, but she’s honestly just as panicked as the rest seem to be, if she gets this wrong it could be the difference between university and an apprenticeship with the local college. She gets a brief but warming kiss to her cheek from Charity as they are called into the hall by the booming voice of their head of year, they share a look, passing a wish of luck between the two of them, and they head to their isolated desks. The fluorescent lighting in the room and the sheer silence puts Charity’s nerves on edge and she thinks she’s focusing more on the small movements in her peripheral vision than she is on her paper. She tries her best and with two minutes left, she scans through, hoping she doesn’t find some monumental mistake at the last minute.

Before they know it they’re moving onto the next exam. They get a quick check-in with one another as they grab their bags and Vanessa grazes a thumb over the neat worry lines on Charity’s forehead. The second bell echoes through the hall and they nod, Vanessa turning to head in the direction of the other building where she now has to sit through a two hour Maths paper, while Charity backs into the small crowd being beckoned towards the English examination. 

Thursday plays out pretty much the same way, worry, fleeting glances filled with unfaltering care, shuffling between crowds looking for the right number on the right desk. Their Biology paper is split, the first of them being in the afternoon, the second dragged out across Friday morning. Vanessa is confident, she knows these questions like a priest knows the Bible and she’ll be damned if she isn’t going to get a mark worthy of all the studying she’s done. She hasn’t seen Charity since they parted ways this morning, a kiss pressed to her temple before she’d been faced with retreating blonde waves. 

She was pacing the corridor laden with students, running her eyes over her flashcards and muttering the words to herself under her breath. She turns back on herself for the millionth time, reading a card about the anatomy of a cell when she bumps into someone and before she has a chance to apologise, a set of arms slink their way around her waist, holding her steady under her jacket. 

Her body relaxes automatically and she looks up to find her favourite set of kind eyes looking down at her. Charity’s hand scratches softly at her back above her jumper, somehow easing her nerves and causing a flurry of butterflies at the same time. They haven’t spoken any more about what they are just yet, to be honest, she doesn’t think either of them know, they haven’t even managed to plan their date yet. At this point, she’d be happy with a quick brew at the pub while Charity clears glasses. 

“Surely you know every word on those damn cards inside  _ out _ by now, V.” She brings her arms back to rest in the space between them, briefly repositioning a loose wave to its spot behind Vanessa’s ear. Vanessa feels a heated blush surfacing beneath her cheeks and she sends a disapproving glare at the girl in front of her who seems to notice the reddening immediately and winks.

“I do, at least I’m fairly sure I do,” she pauses, noticing a small tremble in her fingertips as they cling to the outer corners of the paper, “can’t just stand around though, if my brain switches off now then that’s pretty much me screwed.” She manages a meager laugh that sounds more like she’s about to cry. Charity whispers a quiet ‘hey’ and waits until the worried gaze meets her own. 

“Test me. God knows  _ I _ could do with a little reminder, I’ll probably go blank as soon as I sit in that damn chair.” she taps a finger on the top of the cards and raises her eyebrows in encouragement. She knows that Vanessa needs a distraction from the endless list of possible errors that’s scrolling through her mind, this paper means the most and she’ll curse herself for months if anything goes wrong. 

They wander to a quiet spot around the corner from the main walkway and lean against the cool paintwork, Vanessa reading out each question and Charity using every brain cell she can muster to find the answer in the catalogue they’ve been building during revision sessions. She stumbles on a few but truly surprises herself with how many she manages to fish out of her memory. Pausing on one, she mumbles her thought process as she tries to figure it out and as she blurts out the right response, she watches Vanessa’s eyes grow wider, a beam forming in the corners of her mouth. 

“Did you just use one of my  _ ‘horrendous’ _ anagrams to help you work that out?” her beam turning to a smirk as Charity rolls her eyes and mutters something about not getting a big head. They get through almost the whole pack before a familiar yell makes its way down the corridor calling them in, the clusters of teenagers starting to move reluctantly. Vanessa watches as a shadow of panic seems to cloud over the blonde, reality hitting her that she has two hours to get everything she knows down on paper.

A hand pulls at Charity’s bag strap before she can join the crowd heading towards the hall. She spins to face Vanessa, determination evident across the other girl’s face and a hand comes to rest gently on her cheek. “You’ve got this. We both do. It’s all in there somewhere, just stay calm and look for it when you need it.” There’s a pressure in her ribcage that seems to go from suffocating to overpowering as she feels the unwavering faith this girl has in her. She manages a small nod and places her own hand over Vanessa’s, linking their hands and squeezing quickly before tilting her head, motioning that they should head inside. 

The exam seems more like two minutes than two hours and Charity works every single part of her brain as she tries her hardest to make sure she’s getting things right. She is still writing when the invigilators call out time and she manages to finish her sentence before the one with a terrible hair do and  _ way _ too much power comes to snatch her paper from her desk. 

She grabs her pens and makes her way towards the pile of bags in the corner of the room, rifling through graffitied backpacks until she finds the familiar worn, black straps of her own. Making her way towards the exit doors she pulls her mobile from its place in the front pocket, switching it back on and seeing a text message, the sender’s name sending a little grin to her lips as it always does. 

‘ _ I finished early so I’ve headed home to carry on for tomorrow’s paper, I was going to wait but also thought it might pressure you so I left. Hope you’re alright, you know where to find me if you want any last minute practicing x _ ’

She can picture Vanessa’s tiny body power-walking home so she can rip into her folders and read over all the stuff she definitely already knows. Charity pulls her jacket tighter around her shoulders as a strong breeze whooshes around her head; whoever thought summer was closing in on them was lying to themselves, it was May up north, which translates to November anywhere else. Most of the short way home is spent overthinking all of her answers, what if she got things the wrong way round? What if she labelled things wrong? What if everything she wrote was a pile of utter  _ shit _ and tomorrow is just going to be another case of digging her own grave?

She’s never been too fussed with school, she wasn’t exactly the smartest. She could open a beer bottle with her teeth and throw one hell of a punch but she never made school top of her list. Hell, if she’d been a swot, she never would have lived it down in her house, despite Lisa always telling them they can do whatever they set their minds to. A-Levels had kicked her up the arse a bit, she’d managed to get into their sixth form and Chas had developed her  _ idiot _ crush on Mr Blobby, so studying actually became a thing. 

She’d also been lucky enough to sit next to this prissy, hot-headed, complete nerd in a few classes. Nudging her when she started every sentence and emptying pencil shavings onto their desk had initially caused outbursts in the girl. But over time, she’d become used to Charity - she’d be waiting with a pen in hand while the blonde slowly realised she’d forgotten her pencil case, she’d sit perfectly still while Charity coloured the tips of her hair different shades of highlighter, she’d even clamp a hand over Charity’s mouth before she said something to irritate their teacher beyond the point of no return. Outside of her family, she’d never found herself become so comfortable around someone like she had with Vanessa. Imagining how the past week might have played out had she sat near someone else all that time ago doesn’t bear thinking about now. 

Chas and Paddy are on the sofa most of the evening, slapping post-it notes to each other’s heads and describing each thing to the other as a ridiculous means of revision. Charity sits slumped in Lisa’s chair, feet dangling off the side as she tries to zone in on the music coming through her earphones and the scribbled lines of notes in her lap. She glances over each line but doesn’t seem to be able to take anything in, even with her earphones out she can’t hear herself think over her cousin’s laughter and the faint sound of an argument starting in the kitchen. The words seem to swim around the page and she shakes her head vigorously to try and still them. She gives it another twenty minutes before slamming her book shut and storming upstairs, followed by looks of amusement and raised brows as she slams her bedroom door. The frame shakes with a creak and she runs her hands through her hair. 

If she gets this wrong, where is she going to end up? Sam’s plans are to work on the farm, Cain and Ross will work at the garage until they’re old enough to take it over and so far, her most promising prospect is a landlady at the  _ fucking _ pub. Lisa has told her over and over again that if she carries on working at the pub, she’ll be made the boss in no time with the way she gets on with customers and takes 3 seconds to change a barrell. She just wants more choices, even if it means working pub shifts on the weekends and evenings to help fund whatever she does. There’s nothing wrong with her job, she just likes the idea of doing something no one expects from her, shocking the people who underestimate her every day. 

She grabs her jacket and purse and runs back down the wooden steps, jamming her toes into her leather boots and yanking the door open, leaving shouts of “where you going?” behind her. She darts towards the village shop, eyes burning from the wind and wanders around the shelves for a while. After a few minutes too long, mainly so she can stock up on body heat before heading back out into the _shitting_ _arctic_ , she heads out of the shop, bell ringing above her head.

\--------------------------

‘ _ Look outside. Near the tree under your window. _ ’

Vanessa’s phone lights up and she grabs it from her position balancing precariously on the back legs of her desk chair. She sees Charity’s name and grins, the message underneath widening her smile as she clambers to get out of her seat and runs to the window. Stood next to the breeze-battered tree, shuffling her feet and glancing up with a small wave is the same girl who makes her eyes shine. She abandons her notes, unhooking her hoody from the back of her door and belting down the stairs, quick enough to avoid the questioning gaze of her dad sat at the kitchen counter. 

She flicks the door onto the latch and wanders down the path to her front gate, looking around only to find that Charity has moved to the ancient wooden bench just around the corner. Her shoes scuffle on the uneven pavement as she heads towards the hunched figure metres away. 

She rounds the bench and sits down gently next to the blonde, smile slipping a little as she notices what seems to be almost a pout on the lips she’d kissed just days before. As she scoots closer, a hand reaches out towards her, passing a bag of wine gums in her direction. 

“Okay...you’ve brought me my favourite sweets and you aren’t talking, what have you done?” she jokes and places a hand on Charity’s shoulder, jostling her slightly to try and catch her attention. Bright green pierces her own gaze and she feels her lungs constrict as she sees puddles of tears in the corners of Charity’s eyes. “Hey. What’s happened?” She moves as close to her as possible without any hesitation and puts the sweets behind her as she twists their fingers together. 

Charity’s head dips before she raises it just enough to rest on Vanessa’s shoulder, nose buried in her hair and breath warm in her ear. Vanessa doesn’t ask questions, she knows if there’s something she wants to say that she’ll give it up in time; for now she wraps her free arm around Charity’s shoulder, weaving her fingers into her curls and scratching tenderly at her scalp. They sit like this for a few minutes before an unrecognisable voice creeps out from a dry throat.

“What happens if I mess up? What do I do if I fail like everyone thinks I will, V?” thin cracks appear in her heart as she registers the words. 

“You won’t,” she continues before Charity can pull herself from her shoulder and argue, “You won’t, because I have watched you work hard, I’ve watched you pay more attention than you like to admit, I’ve watched you sit on my bedroom floor for hours wanting to get each thing right before moving on.” She shifts the hand that’s resting in Charity’s hair to cup the back of her head and bring her forward so they’re facing each other.

“You’re brilliant and it’s not just me that has faith in you. Your family has faith in you, even though they think you’ll be taking over the pub at some point, they still have faith that you could completely handle that on your  _ own, _ Charity. Our teachers have faith in you, they haven’t at any point told you that you needed to be doing more to prepare.”

A stray tear rolls down Charity’s cheek and Vanessa leans in slowly, pressing her lips to its path to stop it in its tracks. She pulls back and feels the hammering pulse underneath her hand on the blonde’s neck. “You should have faith in yourself. I’m smart and I think you’re amazing so I must be right,” she winks and her heartbeat picks up a little as she gets a warm smile in return. 

“Amazing?” Charity isn’t expecting her voice to come out as a whisper but it seems to be all her throat can manage. 

“Yes, fool,  _ amazing _ . You don’t think I’d go on a date with anything less, did you?” she pokes Charity’s shoulder until she grabs her finger and shoots her a warning scowl before placing the hand gently in her own.

“So that wasn’t completely made up in my head then?” she laughs but it sounds more like a sigh to Vanessa. She scoffs and waits for their eyes to meet again before holding the gaze steady. 

“If it was completely made up then I’d be pretty devastated. I’ve been feeling that kiss in pretty much every inch of my body for the past 48 hours. The thought of it maybe happening again was the main reason I managed to write that History paper in record time.” Although her voice is light, her gaze never drops and her hand holds Charity’s tight as though it’ll help the words sink in. 

“Tomorrow.” Charity lets the one word slip from her mouth. Vanessa’s brows tilt in confusion as she repeats the word back, a question rather than the statement she’d been given. “Tomorrow?”

“Go out with me. Tomorrow. Anywhere really. It’s just that the idea of waiting until after exams or even the weekend is...well...painful...basically.” Charity’s tears are gone, replaced with a look of pure hope that makes Vanessa’s words stick in her chest. She brings their joined hands to rest over her heart, allowing the comforting feeling to swell and push her voice out using all the strength the has.

“I’d love to.” The thumping behind her ribs only speeds up as she watches Charity’s waiting face morph into a timid and beautiful grin. She has no idea where she gets the courage but it bubbles inside her like an impatient firework and next thing she knows, her hands are holding Charity’s jaw and she’s kissing her. It takes a second for both of them to register what’s happening but as soon as it kicks in, Charity has her hands keeping Vanessa’s arms in place as the smaller girl inches back, only to place her lips back where she wants them again, soft and feather-light.

Their foreheads rest against each other for a second before Vanessa pulls back, hands falling from Chairty’s face, instead landing in her lap, pulling at the strings on her jacket. 

“Go home, get your book back out from where you inevitably shoved it under your bed, read over the last few sections and then tomorrow, when you’ve smashed yet another exam, we can go on a date. A date where there will hopefully be more of those,” she says pointing at Charity’s lips, “and more of those,” she finishes pointing at the bag of sweets gifted to her. 

She grabs Charity’s hand as she stands up, helping the other girl to her feet. She raises her brows in question to the blonde and gets a fierce nod in response. She leans in and places a delicate kiss to a cold nose before turning back towards Tug Gyhll, “ _ Thank you _ , for these, by the way. See you tomorrow” she whispers. 

Charity goes home, a lot warmer than before, gets her book out from where she had inevitably shoved it under her bed, reads the last few sections ready to smash the exam and thinks about tomorrow where,  _ thank christ _ , she’ll get more of those…

\--------------------------

Keeping a cautious eye on the clock, Charity manages to pace herself well. She’d sent a wink Vanessa’s way before they’d split to look for their places and for the first time  _ ever _ in this hell hole, she actually felt like she might know what she’s talking about. She’d passed through about five questions by the time it hit her that she wasn’t racking her brain for answers, they were instead sliding out in front of her eyes like the neat little flashcards she’d read a thousand times. By the time a witchy-looking woman at the front of the room called out “PENS DOWN”, Charity was closing her paper in quiet confidence.

For most kids, this was their last exam. A tidal wave of bodies leaves the hall in excitement, waiting to burst through the doors into freedom, she gets caught in the tsunami somewhere and once outside she finds an isolated spot against the far wall of the building. She grabs her phone and opens her text conversation with Vanessa.

‘ _ Got caught in the freedom frenzy, couldn’t see you anywhere. Good luck, last one! Meet me at mine later when you’re ready. You’ll be great.’’ _

She presses send and takes her earphones out from their tangled mess at the bottom of her bag. Fitting them into her ears she picks a playlist and turns for home, Vanessa has one more maths exam before she’s done and once she’s finished, their time is theirs and theirs alone. She’d been so nervous this morning that she hadn’t had much time to think of a plan, how on  _ earth _ is she supposed to think of a date that’s Vanessa-worthy for tonight?! Dinner would mean possibly spilling food down her front and a formal atmosphere Charity could freeze in. The cinema would mean no talking, mostly darkness and plenty of opportunity for clammy hands to meet in a popcorn box ... _ shiver _ . Anywhere in the village would mean all eyes on them and hundreds of questions from the Dingle lot. She needs Chas.

\--------------------------

“Right. Help. I have 3 hours until a gorgeous nerd turns up at my door expecting the night of her life.” Charity’s two steps into Chas’ room, not even throwing a hand up to greet a bemused looking Paddy before glaring at her cousin.

“First of all,  _ please  _ do come on in, not like doors exist for a bloody reason. Second of all, neither of us need to help plan or even  _ know _ about your seductive plans for Miss Priss.” Chas’ nose screws up at the thought and she swats Paddy on the arm as a laugh escapes him.

“ _ Not _ what I meant when I said night of her life, you fucking twonk,” she huffs out as her scowl turns to a genuine look of concern and what seems like embarrassment. “First date.”

Paddy and Chas exchange a smile and the latter grabs a pillow, hurling it in the direction of the door and earning a muffled ‘oi’ as it connects with its victim. “Sit down, you’re gonna need at least an hour to get ready at this rate so we need all the time we can get our hands on for brainstorming. Pads, get my phone.”

They sit like this for ages, Charity’s knees becoming stiff from sitting cross-legged for so long. They’ve successfully ruled out all basic options, either too formal, too close to home or too prepubescent boy. Eventually Chas, deep in a google search, yells out, scaring Paddy so much in his spot on Chas’ outstretched legs that he drops his own phone directly onto his nose. “ _ Bollocks _ !”

“I’ve got it! Cute, competitive, excuse to bump into each other in the dark…” her eyebrows wiggle and Charity lets go of a defeated sigh in preparation for the idea, offering out her palm so she can take a look at the brunette’s screen. 

“I’m sorry...laser tag?  _ LASER TAG _ ? Chas, what are we, at Sam’s twelfth birthday party?!” she launches the phone back at Chas and raises her hands to hold her forehead, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Listen  _ idiot _ , it’s fun, you have to be 18 to get in because there’s a bar, you get to tackle each other in the dark -”

“Sounds like me and you at a club Chas..” “Shut up Paddy, don’t ruin it.”

Charity mulls it over for a while before clocking the time on her phone, she needs to decide and start getting ready otherwise an excited Vanessa is going to be at her door and she won’t even have an outfit picked out. She grumbles out a ‘ _ fine _ ’ and tells Chas to look at the bus timetables while she wanders into the bathroom and turns on the shower.

\--------------------------

Vanessa checks her phone for the fourth time before pushing it back into her bag and lifting a hand.  _ The longer you stand here, the longer you’re giving yourself to get nervous, just knock, you pansy. _

She braces herself for the feel of splintered wood on her knuckles as she knocks but her fist meets an empty space and she’d faced with a smirking Charity, resting her arm on the door and raising one brow in question. “You’ve been out here for about 10 minutes, I thought I should come and let you in before you changed your mind.” 

A tinge of red makes its way across the bridge of Vanessa’s nose as she tries to laugh off the mortification. She moves to step across the threshold but halts her movements, noticing that Charity hasn’t moved out of her way. Instead she is staring at Vanessa’s legs, clad in skinny jeans and her eyes eventually graze over a red halter, gold choker, admiring haphazardly curled hair. She feels her skin tingle as though Charity’s eyes are burning a path where they land and she busies herself shifting her bag across her body while she hides a timid look.

“Sorry,” Charity breathes out, “maybe if I’d have known you were wearing  _ that, _ I could have prepared a bib for myself.” Vanessa laughs and takes the opportunity to scan Charity’s tight fitting outfit, heart skipping a few shaky beats as she notices the cut of the blonde’s jawline is framed by delicate hoop earrings. 

She’s welcomed into the hallway as Charity grabs her jacket and she waves minutely at the two cheshire cats on the sofa. “Ignore them, too much free time, too interested in our lives to get on with their  _ own _ .” Charity glares at her cousin over her shoulder as they pull the door closed on calls of, “have fun kids, use protection!”

The glare of the streetlights accompanies them to the bus stop and as Charity begins to explain where they’re heading, their ride pulls up, opening squeaking doors to let them on. 

Charity lets Vanessa lead her to the back, sliding into one of the few seats on the final row and patting the space next to her for the blonde to park in. “I don’t think it’s a stupid idea Charity, it sounds like fun to be honest. And  _ god knows _ we could do with some of that after this week.” She lets her head slump back against the seat, absentmindedly tracing circles on Charity’s upturned palm that she’s brought to rest in her lap. She wants to try and reassure the uneasy blonde, she hadn’t exactly sold the plan with a huge amount of confidence and Vanessa was doing her best to try and assert the fact that, as long as they got to spend some time together, she really couldn't care less what they were doing. 

It only takes them about fifteen minutes to get into Hotten and Vanessa snakes her arm around Charity’s as they get off the bus, Charity’s breathing staggering a bit as she does so. A few minutes later and they’re at a desk pushing theirs IDs under the nose of a very indie-looking staff member. Neither of them really want a drink so they listen to their instructions before making their way directly to the ops room. After finding a locker for their jackets and bags, they look around the wall of vests and laser guns before attempting to help each other put them on. 

“I feel like I’m about to go into battle,” Vanessa laughs as Charity tightens the straps around her side, placing her gun in her hands and winking as she moves to do her own. 

“Only against me, and you should prepare to lose...spectacularly.” They use the tablet near the doors to put their names in and turn to each other, competitive glares exchanged before the doors open and they’re surrounded by darkness. A siren wails above them and suddenly various arrows on the ground and blockades are marked out, glowing in the dark with neon colours. Charity snaps her head to the side, expecting to see her date but quickly realises that she’s behind as she hears faint footsteps running in the opposite direction. 

She makes her way to a hideout on her side of the room, glancing out over the walkways in the hopes of catching sight of the neon patch on Vanessa’s vest. The more shots she gets on Vanessa’s vest panel, the more points she gets, the quicker she wins and can request a victory prize, safe to say she’s got a few ideas.

After a minute or two she starts to get frustrated and realises her date may be better at this than she’d hoped. She places one foot out of the hideout and makes it around the corner, crouching just low enough so that a blockade is protecting her. She risks a peek over the top and sees a flash of neon race across her vision. She aims and presses the trigger but her gun simply makes a dying noise to signal that she missed, she hears a giggle and a faint ‘nice try’ from further away.  _ That’s it _ .

She stays low and runs towards the sound, the shape of Vanessa’s possible hideout is visible now. As she moves to head towards it, her vest panel lights up and a different noise echoes around her - she’s been shot. By this point, she is boiling hot in her jeans and can’t understand where the  _ hell  _ Vanessa is hiding. Backing down against another blockade she scans in front of her and attempts to make as little noise as possible. That’s when she hears the screech of rubber soles on the floor and aims up before they can get any further. She shoots and grins widely as she hears a muffled cry from the other side, “oh for fuck’s sake,  _ how _ ?!”

Courage pulsing through her veins, she sprints forward into the dark and aims towards the other hideout, grin widening as she gets another shot to the other girl’s vest. She hears an exasperated “ _ Charity _ !” before all goes quiet. She pauses still for a moment, she can’t decide whether to venture closer or to head back to her own hideout, the silence seems dangerous to her, knowing Vanessa could be around any corner. She waits with her back against a blockade for a few more seconds before spinning and noticing the neon patch running away from her. She legs it after her and starts to shoot, hearing a shriek and a laugh as she chases after the smaller girl. She rounds the corner to follow, letting her gun fall for a second so she can run faster and is met with a solid body waiting on the other side. She’s flipped on her back and pressed against the cool wall, eyes adjusting to the light only to see mischievous blue ones smirking back at her.

“I win.” Vanessa’s gun is aimed down between them and she fires as many shots as possible into the panel on Charity’s front. She lets the gun fall to her side as she pants, their laughter fading out into the air between them. They’re both covered in a thin sheen of sweat and they try to catch their breath as the hour of darting around has taken it out of both of them. Charity is suddenly very aware of the way she’s tight against the wall, centimetres from a grinning, breathless Vanessa and her laugh subsides. Her mind flashes to a variety of situations she’s envisaged this in before and she soon zones in on the girl facing her. Something clicks and her arm is out before she can stop it. She reaches a hand out to grab Vanessa by the waist, her fingers digging into her hip bone as she spins them, a surprised squeal erupting from Vanessa’s mouth before Charity hears her breath catch in her throat. Her mouth spreads evenly into a filthy grin before she slides her hands slowly into damp curls and pauses for a torturous second before surrounding waiting lips with her own. 

Vanessa responds immediately, hands striking out and gripping firmly at her back, pulling Charity closer. The contact of their chests meeting in the middle causes a sharp gasp to leave Charity’s mouth and Vanessa takes advantage, running her tongue along the flesh of Charity’s bottom lip and smiling as it’s granted entry. Charity’s heart is racing and it’s got nothing to do with her exhaustion any more. She brings a hand down to cup Vanessa’s jaw as they move together, the other resting at the nape of her neck where it gently tugs at the hairs falling over bunched shoulders. She can’t feel anything other than the heat that’s risen in her chest as their tongues brush against each other, Vanessa feels like silk and she moves an arm to snake around the girl’s waist, yanking her even closer until they’re touching from their foreheads to their feet. 

Vanessa’s starting to feel her heart in her throat as she struggles for breath but she can’t bring herself to part from Chairty’s mouth. The blonde must be feeling the same as she eventually drags herself back, head resting against Vanessa and laboured breath hitting the lips she’s left behind. 

“Um…” the utterance is rasped as Charity places her hand against the wall, providing her with the support she desperately needs to avoid collapsing against her date.

“My thoughts exactly.” Vanessa’s voice cracks slightly but she manages a laugh as their eyes meet and broad smiles plaster themselves across their faces. “The siren went a while ago, I think we should go before we’re kicked out.” She gets a nod in response and Charity slides their hands together, pulling softly until they’re faced with the bright lights of the ops room once again.

\--------------------------

The cool air is significantly appreciated as they stroll back through the village. Their hands remained intertwined the entire bus journey back and words were barely exchanged, Vanessa opting instead to rest her head on Charity’s shoulder, using her other hand to play with the fraying hem on the girl’s top. 

Charity hadn’t minded, she was grateful to be given some time to recover and attempt to organise the thoughts flying around her head in every  _ damn _ direction. Between flashbacks of desperate hands and soft lips are memories of Chas’ party, ones of lingering glances during their exams and ones of whispered concern during hushed conversations.

Vanessa has thrown her completely off balance. She can’t decide whether she wants to kiss her until their lungs give out or hold her for hours, confessing every embarrassing emotion under the sun. She’s returning from a date, with her very own slice of utter perfection and has no idea what to do. Where do they go from here? Can they do this until Vanessa naturally leaves for university? What if she doesn’t want to? What if she does?  _ Oh jesus, will you fucking chill, you’ll start bloody hyperventilating soon and that’s a reaaally good look... _

“Stop thinking so hard, you’ll pull a muscle.” Vanessa squeezes their hands tight and looks up at the girl on her left. “Are you alright?”

Without realising, they’ve reached Tug Gyhll and Charity chastises herself for staying silent the entire way back. She sees a familiar object in the darkness of her peripheral vision and tugs gently on their hands, leading Vanessa towards the bench they’d sat on the previous night. 

She sits with one leg tucked under the other and watches as Vanessa sits facing her, closer than she’d been expecting but welcomes it with a shy smile. Her fingers loosen and twist to play with the ring on Vanessa’s middle finger and she turns it in circles as she thinks of the best way to start this conversation. As it looks as though her date’s going to speak, she opens her mouth, “What is this for you, V?”

The other girls eyebrows join in a deep-set frown as a puzzled look crosses her eyes. She’s quiet for a minute or two, Charity’s heart thumping in her chest as she starts to think she’s approached this completely the wrong way. Vanessa’s voice snaps her attention back.

“This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time. It’s something that makes my heart jump into my mouth and my fingers tingle. It’s become the reason behind my smile every,  _ single _ , day. It’s a mystery to me because you’re the coolest person I know and yet you’re spending all your time communicating with this absolute fumbling moron.” Vanessa snorts but Charity slips a hand under her chin stopping her laugh. 

“You’re not a moron. If anyone’s a moron, it’s yours truly. You’ve turned me into a bit of a clumsy bint, Ness.” Charity’s lopsided smile and the flow of the nickname from her lips makes Vanessa’s heart quiver. She waits, sensing that the blonde isn’t quite finished. “I guess it just baffles me that you might want to date me, if that’s what you  _ do _ want?”

Vanessa pulls on the zip of Charity’s jacket as she huffs out a laugh. “Charity, if you don’t know by now that I want to date you then maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong way.” She inches forward and watches as Charity’s eyes follow her, widening slightly in anticipation, a smile at the corner of her lips as Vanessa catches them in her own. 

It’s softer than anything she’s felt before and she presses into it, thumb brushing Vanessa’s knee below them as they bask in the moment for a second, parting slowly as Vanessa speaks. “I would love to date you, to continue to date you, and only you...if that seems like something you can tolerate.” She winks but her bravery falters slightly as Charity fails to respond.

After a few seconds too long, their silence is finally broken. “ _ Tolerate _ ? V, if this is something you want to carry on with then I’m afraid I’m in it for as long as you’ll have me.” With no attempt to calm the beaming smile that graces her mouth, Vanessa pulls her in again, Charity’s heart seemingly exploding in a flurry of light as tender lips meet hers, grins sliding against one another. They kiss for a few minutes, simple touches raising goosebumps on skin and setting fires in their chests. It seems obvious to them now. They want  _ each other _ . 

It’s gone midnight by the time they say goodnight, swollen lips and a promise of weekend plans sending them both to bed with sleepy excitement. This is far from  _ it _ .


End file.
